转自http://wq8911.blog.hexun.com/5421652_d.html
……In spite of the title of this blog, my whole life is not purely a quest for sex; the company of women is simply more enjoyable than that of men. It seems to me the men in this culture have, mostly, rather little to say for themselves, but the women are confident, articulate and nuanced. Each woman is different; most men are the same. That’s why 95% of my friends are women.
尽管这个BLOG的标题是欲望上海，我的全部生活并不只是对性爱的追求。与女人交流也比跟男人更有趣。似乎在这个文化里男人关于自身总是无话可说，但女人很自信、健谈而细腻。每一个女人都不同，男人大多数是一样的。那就是为什么我95%的朋友都是女人。
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No attention can be worse than unwanted attention, sure. But in this case, Ceecee did seem rather disturbed by it. I think the problem is that Chinese guys can often be freakish and weird in their attentions. China’s got a pretty fucked-up culture. There’s a vicious little tradition in the country of jilted lovers attacking the person who spurns them with acid, on the basis of `If I can’t have you, I’ll make sure no-one else will want you.’ Guys here often mix their wooing with threat of violence, sometimes to themselves but more often to the woman.
没有人关注比不想要的关注更糟糕，确实。但（我的注意）对Ceecee来说却似乎相当的烦扰。我觉得问题源于中国男人在他们的关注某人的时候常常很古怪而奇异。中国有一种相当混乱的文化，有一个小小的坏传统，基于“我得不到你，我要让别人也不想要你”的思想，被遗弃的情人怀着醋意攻击抛弃他（她）的人。男人的求爱里常常混合着暴力，有时候是对自己更多的时候是对女人。
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And so Chinese society is stuck in deep denial, and the people who know least about modern China are the Chinese themselves. Chinese people, in general, know nothing about their society and are simply not interested in finding out. For example, I have asked 50 people in the last week what is happening at Shengda University. Not one knew. They simply do not care, are notinterested in finding out. Eyes shut, blindness all the way.
中国社会停滞不前，是因为她如此固执地拒绝接受现实。最不了解当下中国的，恰恰就是中国人自己。中国人，普遍地对他们的社会一无所知，而且似乎也没有兴趣去了解。比如说，我曾问过50个中国人上周Shengda大学（这是什么大学？）发生了些什么事情，没有一个人知道。他们完全不关心，也不想去了解。就是这样，闭上双眼，让自己完全盲目下去。
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- （以下是一些评论及Chinabounder的答复）
Anonymous said..Every male who's interacted with the various women of China knows Shanghai women are the biggest whores in China.
ChinaBounder 说...
A lazy piece of stereotyping. Shanghai girls are different to what you suppose. And in any case, neither Mona, nor Tingting, nor Lucy nor Jingjing were Shanghai girls. You, rather like BMPC have a puritanical and prescriptive attitude towards sex. You seem to have decided that Shanghai women behave in a way of which you disapprove and that all women who behave like this must therefore be Shanghai girls.
You are wrong, and you show that you neither understand the women of Shanghai in particular nor the women of China in general.
Of course no population can be understood as a whole, since everyone is an individual. And so I do not claim to ‘understand’ women in any especially profound way. But I would hesitate to make such a sweeping and ill-informed statement as you.
匿名评论者说：每一个与中国各种女人交往过的男性都知道上海女人是中国最大的妓女。
Chinabounder说：不经思考的陈腔滥调。上海女孩与你所想的不同,无论如何，Mona，Tingting，Lucy，Jingjing都不是上海女孩。你象BMPC（另一位评论者）一样对性爱有着清教徒式的刻板的态度。你似乎不赞同上海女人的某些表现于是你认为所有象这样表现的女人都是上海人。
你错了，这说明你既不特别了解上海女人也并不全面地了解中国女人。
没有哪一个人群是可以作为整体来理解的，因为每一个人都是一个个体，并且我也不敢声称自己在哪一个特别的方面对女人有深刻了解。但是我不会象你这样随便作出如此大打击面的、无知的断言。
Anonymous said: you think making love with a wrong guy is not a big matter,that's just your opinion,actually to many Chinese girls it's a big thing, …and you will probablly destroy her future life!
ChinaBounder 说...To some it is. To some it is not. Ellen, or Mona, for example – for them sex is fun, passion, excitement. It’s not the be all and end all of human existence.
匿名评论者说：你认为跟一个错误的男人做爱不是什么大不了的事情，那只是你的看法，实际上对许多中国女孩来说是仍然是一件大事。
ChinaBounder 说...对有些人来说是，有一些不是。比如Ellen,Mona，对她们来说性爱是一种快乐、热情、刺激。它并不是人类生活里最重大的事情。
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Anonymous said：…and you will probablly destroy her future life!
ChinaBounder 说...
You exaggerate.
This kind of attitude is a mistake. People who make sex so very important are certain to be let down. Treating love, sex and marriage as some sort of holy trinity is the key reason why so many Chinese women regret their marriages. They have brought into all this society bullshit about how important sex is. But then, in their marriage, they find sex is no big deal at all; and thus comes disappointment and disillusion.
匿名评论者说：…你很可能会毁了她未来的生活。
ChinaBounder 说..
你夸张了。
这种态度是一个错误。把性看得太重要一定会很沮丧。把爱、性和婚姻当作某种神圣的东西来对待是为什么这么多中国妇女为自己的婚姻感到后悔的关键原因。她们接受了这个社会灌输的关于性是多么重要的胡说。但是然后，在她们的婚姻里，她们发现性压根不是什么大事，因此会感到失望并且醒悟。
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Anonymous said：Chinese girls made themselves 'cheap' and I as a chinese girl sometimes am ashamed..
this is a curious attitude. Why should you be ashamed for what other Chinese people do? Why can you not see beyond the idea of `being Chinese’ and be an individual? You have no more need to be ashamed of what you perceive as a Chinese person acting in a bad way (though I dispute that they are) than a Muslim has any need to be ashamed of the people who attempted the recent terrorist attacks in Britain.
匿名评论者说：中国女孩这样自甘下贱，我作为一个中国女孩感到很羞耻。
ChinaBounder 说..这是一种很奇怪的态度。你为什么要为别的中国人所做的感到羞耻呢？你为什么不能超越“作为中国人”的观念来“作为一个人”？你不需要为你所认为的一个表现糟糕的中国人（尽管我为她们在据理力争）感到羞耻，就象一个穆斯林不必为最近试图在英国制造恐怖袭击的人感到羞耻一样。
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Anonymous said：But what I really want to comment is your disgusting attitude against the Chinese men. They are completely false, just flat out wrong.
ChinaBounder 说..You argue well and there is a lot of truth in what you say. Yes, my friends are mostly men, not women, and so you are well within your rights to call me on it. You are also wholly right to point out that since I seem to talk to women in unhappy relationships, I will have a skewed perspective.
But as I have mentioned in my blog, I often ask my classes about this, and 70% of women or so do tell me Chinese guys lack passion. Bear in mind that this is 70% of a whole class, not just 70% of a group I have selected, of a group that has selected me. and these groups are not undergraduates alone, but range from high school pupils to senior managers.
Also I often talk about the type of cultural preconceptions you mention here in my classes. The general opinion seems to be the Western guys are more fun, more passionate, more creative – and much less trustworthy, decent, and honest. And Chinese guys are rather undemonstrative, passionless and stodgy – but much more reliable, trustworthy and family-oriented. Generalizations, of course, should never be believed wholesale, but often hold a grain of truth.
And perhaps you knew the special reputation Shanghai men have. They are held to be somewhat effeminate. Among the male friends I do have, I find northern guys to be much more interesting than southern guys.
匿名评论者说：我最想说的是你对中国男人的恶心态度。这是完全错误的。
ChinaBounder 说..你提得很好，你所说的有很多是对的。我的朋友多数是男人不是女人（这里我怀疑他说反了），因此你完全有权利提醒我这点。你也完全有权指出这错误因为我似乎都是跟感情不幸福的女人谈话，因而我会得出一些片面的观点。
但是就象我曾在博客里提到过的，我常常问我的学生这个问题，70%的女人说中国的男人缺少激情。我记得这是一个班的70%，不是我选择的一个组而是选择了我的一个组。这些群组不全是在校大学生，从高中生到资深经理都有。
我也常常在班上谈论你在这儿提到的文化偏见的问题。普遍的看法是西方男人更有趣更热情，更有创造力——但没有那么得多，可信、正直和诚实。中国男人可靠得多，更看重家庭。当然，概括不应该全信，但还是有一定道理的。
也许你知道上海男人的特别的名声。他们有一点儿女人气。在我的男性朋友中，我发现北方男人比南方男人有趣得多。
But in this country it does not matter how good you are; it matters who you know. From top to bottom, China is stuffed with incompetent and idle buffoons who hold their jobs by mere virtue of having the right friends.
China does not reward talent (which is of course a blessing for me), and this is the reason so many people leave the country. Time and again I have heard it from students (most often female students, for the connections club is mostly male) -- `I can’t get ahead in my company, I don’t have the right connections.’
Example of this enough with Gloria; by far the most capable person in the office, she lacked the right friends. And without that protection she had no defence against the spiteful backbiting, the dirty jostling and sniping, the petty viciousness and cowardice that is so much a part of the impotent and raging history of China.
在这个国家里你有多优秀并不重要，重要的是你认识谁。从上到下，中国塞满了没有能力的懒散的蠢才，他们占着他们的职位仅仅是因为有合适的朋友。
中国不奖赏才能（当然这对我来说是福份），这是为什么那么多人离开这个国家的的原因。我曾不止一次的听到学生说：我在我的公司里没有前途，因为我没有合适的关系。
Gloria的例子可以说明这个问题了。她是办公室里最有能力的人但没有合适的朋友，没有这种保护她无法对付那些恶意的诽谤和卑鄙的攻击，这种狭隘的邪恶与懦弱在中国这段衰弱的令人愤怒的历史上占着如此大的一部分。
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But given that 99% of everyone I know here would agree with this stand, would puff and fuss and strut at the idea Taiwan was a separate country, in spite of the clear and obvious truth that it is, in every meaningful way, separate, what can one do? I can explain it step by step, that it has its own laws, its own government, that Beijing has no political or legal or monetary control over it, and they will follow me, will agree. I can say that it has its own history and native language and, less readily, they will agree; yet with all this they will still not accept it is a separate country. And, faced with that level of obtuse ignorance, that stubbornness, what can one do? It is as futile as arguing with creationists.
So few people here are truly able to think, able to see beyond the pabulum whipped up by the government. It’s easier to keep it simple, China good, Japan bad; China right, rest of the world wrong. For example, I tried to pin down Tingting over Beijing’s appalling cover-up of the news must be allowed to get in the way of the outrageous parade of filth and lies they initial SARS outbreak, to see if she would accept that China owed the world an apology since, as a doctor, she must accept that it was the initial cover up that stymied efforts to stop the spread of the disease, letting it leap to Hong Kong and then the world. Doctors in the region wanted to announce the disease so that people could take safety measures; but they were shut down by the government since this happened at the time of a big Communist Party meeting.
These wretched events are wholly choreographed, and no bad generate – days of rubbish about how good the Party has been for China, when in truth it has created vast misery, suffering, pain and the deaths of millions upon millions.
But while Tingting accepted Beijing was at fault, she would not accept it owed anyone an apology – while being quite sure Japan, which (unlike China) has attacked no-one in the last 50 years, did.
This rising tide of Nationalism is dangerous. When people as educated as Tingting buy into the lies, anger and hate, then the future is worrying indeed.
这儿我认识的99%的人都固执地否认这个观点：台湾是一个独立的国家。尽管在各个方面事实清楚明了：它是独立的。我通常会一步一步向他们解释：它有自己的法律、自己的政府，北京在政治、立法或财政上对它都无法控制，他们都表示同意。我会说它有自己的历史和土著语言，他们也基本同意。然而即使他们接受了所有这些他们仍然不会接受它是一个独立的国家。面这种愚钝和顽固，谁能有什么办法呢？
这儿极少人能够真正思考，能够超越政府灌输的精神食粮来看问题。保持简单更容易，中国好，日本坏；中国对，全世界错。比如，我试图让婷婷谈一谈关于北京政府对非典疫情初起时的可怕的隐瞒，想看看她是否会同意说中国欠了世界一个道歉，因为，作为医生她应该承认正是这种隐瞒阻碍了对疫情蔓延的防治.使得它传播到香港然后全世界。当地的医生想宣布疫情使人们能及时采取安全措施，但遭到政府禁止因为当时有一个非常重要的中共会议。
这些恶劣的事情被全部美化了，并且对这些肮脏与谎言的表演不允许有任何异议——无数的关于***一直如何地好的垃圾，而实际上它曾制造了巨大的灾难、痛苦以及数千万人的死亡。
婷婷同意北京政府有错误，但认为中国不欠任何人的道歉——而她却相当肯定日本应该向中国道歉，(虽然日本在最近五十年里并没有攻击过任何人，不象中国）。这种上升的民族主义的趋势是危险的。当人们都象婷婷这样接受了谎言、愤怒和憎恨的时候，未来是非常令人担忧的。