Finally Tiger Woods is hiding no more. He will be man enough and giving a press conference 11:00 am EST Friday for the first time after the Thanksgiving fiasco.

What is he going to say? Maybe something like this?

Elin, I'm sorry that I slept with so many women. But hey consider the up side of it. A least they're all whores and of course I have not made a commitment to any single one of them. All the commitment I have made is to one single lady in the whole world and it's you. If you're still mad at me, how about you going to the Lady Shady Ranch and screwing any guy you like there. I'll pay for it and then we're even. Please forgive me and don't leave me. Consider this, if we stay together for 4 more years, you'll be entitled to 300 million dollars. Just for the sake of the shit load of money, please don't leave me.