I was on a plane once and I was flying first class, because I had a thing. I fly first class. Who cares? Just– That’s the way it is. I don’t– I’m not like you. I’m not. I’m not. All the things you do, I do a better version of all those things. And– It’s only for another year at the most, believe me. It’s not gonna last. It’s been about eight months. I’ve got a year left and then I’m back to being just like you. But for now, it’s pretty good. I’m in a first class seat and first class is so crazily better. It’s so much better. You get a bigger seat. You get food. But also, you get to sit first. You get to sit before anybody else does. They sit you down and you get to just sit there with champagne and watch all the sweaty, miserable, all the single moms hefting their stroller and the kid. “That looks heavy and nobody’s helping you. That’s a drag.” And you get to just– Anyway, so I’m on the plane. I’m in first class and this soldier gets on the plane. I see soldiers fly all the time because that’s how they get to the war. They fly on a shitty airline. You think they get to go on a cool green plane with a red light. “Go! Go! Go!” No, they just go to Delta. And they just wait in line to go to a war. And they always fly coach. I’ve never seen a soldier in first class in my life. It could be a full bird colonel, he’s between two fat guys in coach. And they’re always nice. I’ve never seen a soldier get on a plane– “Hey, I’m in the Army.” “Fuck you. I have a gun.” They’re always, “Oh, yes sir. Thank you very much ma’am.” It’s like having an extra flight attendant. They help everybody put their shit up. They’re awesome. And every time that I see a soldier on a plane, I always think, You know what, I should give him my seat. It would be the right thing to do. It would be easy to do and it would mean a lot to him. I could go up to him, “Hey, Son.” I get to call him, “Son.” “Hey, son, go ahead and take my seat.” Because I’m in first class, why, for being a professional asshole. I’m in first class because I talk about babies with big dicks. That’s what got me my seat. This guy is giving his life for the country, he thinks, and so he has to sit– But that’s good enough. That’s good enough, the fact that he thinks it. I’m serious. He’s fucking told by everybody in his life system that that’s a great thing to do and he’s doing it. And it’s scary but he’s doing it. And he’s sitting in this shitty seat and I should trade with him. I never have. Let me make that clear. I’ve never done it once. I’ve had so many opportunities. I never even really, seriously came close. And here’s the worst part. I still just enjoy the fantasy for myself to enjoy. I was actually proud of myself for having thought of it. I was proud. Ah, I am such a sweet man. That is so nice of me to think of that and then totally never do it.