Your intention is obvious, maybe too obvious. I still think the story is

送交者: chouqilozi 于 2012-04-11, 12:05:59:

回答: That is where my art shine! 由 alabama 于 2012-04-11, 11:56:08:

better without the twist in the end, which only serves to stretch too far and hurt the soundness of the plot.