IMPORTANT - PLEASE READ THIS DISCLAIMER BEFORE YOU PROCEED
THIS WILL AVOID CONFUSION AND FALSE IMPRESSIONS
The sender of the message MR. COLIN CARVER is a sufferer of Tourette Syndrome, which is a medical condition which affects the sufferer in various ways. For more information please visit www.xxxxx.com Mr. Colin Carver, the sender of the message below is a sufferer of the more antisocial sub-strain, psyeudo monimomenemeric Tourettes (completely made up ailment!). This means that he sometimes uncontrollably inserts swear/curse words into his speech and messages. Please understand that this is NOT DELIBERATE but a medical condition. Mr. Carver is medically UNABLE to control this. Dr. Phillis Simpson BSC. HHGTTG.
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Dear Mr. Bosah,
Thank you for your interesting fucking email. I have to say that I am very interested shit in your proposition however before I am prepared to proceed any faggot further I would like you to answer me some questions if you can.
1. Please can you tit-wank tell me how long this procedure will take to complete?
2. Will I be required to travel to complete this financial deal?
3. Is it completely arse legal?
Let me know the answer to the shagmenow questions above so that I can be in a better position to judge if I can help you.
Sincerely,
Colin Carver
Singlesideband Systems Ltd.
Dear Mr. Bosah,
Thank you for your reply arsewhacker it was interesting to read.
Eleven working days seems tickle-me-plums acceptable to me however I shall have to has assurances that it will not take too much longer than that as my time is extremely valuable and lurve-juice I cannot afford to devote my attention to other projects for too long.
It is good to know that travelling will not be required to facilitate the completion of this fucking project. This is encouraging as the need for travel would probably dissuade me from taking pissflaps part. Again I cannot be away from my company's work for too long as we are in a very busy period.
It is of paramount importance that this project is 100% legal because I cannot afford to be involved in any fucking project that may fall foul of the law and damage the good reputation of my company which has taken many years to build up. The single most important rimming thing to me is the smooth running and good name of my company.
Regarding your further questions, my details are as follows:
Name:
Colin Farquhar Carver
Contact address:
Single Systems Ltd.
Middlebrook Retail Park,
Bolton,
BL6 6JA
United Kingdom.
Telephone number:
+44 8707 65X XXX
Fax number:
+44 8701 31X XXX
Bank:
Barclays Bank Corporate Banking
Winter Hey Lane
Horwich
Bolton
BL6 7NZ
Account No:
18120007221
Sort Code:
22-17-83
Please note that I cannot presently supply you with a copy of my wanking passport as I am in my office at the moment and my passport is locked in my home sperm deposit safe. I will forward it on to you in the next few days.
I shall also require a scan of your passport/drivers license for your ugly bastard identification too.
Sincerely,
Colin Carver
Singlesideband Systems Ltd.
From: Colin Carver
To: Andy Uba
Date: March 10, 2006
Dear Mr. Uba,
I have absolutely no fucking idea how we are going to pay that screw money dude. I certainly cannot pay it fart at this moment in time as my money is held in a high interest campache account, and I have to give 60 days notice before I can withdraw more than $1,000.
You can forget money fucking gram. Last time I used that I got fucking ripped off by the money gram people. I was sending $500 to a doctor in the US for pile cream and the recipient never received it and I lost all of my asscream cash.
Listen, I can pay the money but I only have access to $37,850 in cash so if that will help to speed things up then if you can get somebody to meet me I will give it to you but I will want the payment back from the fucking final fund. So the money is available but I need someone to meet me at my location to pick it up. If that cannot be dickwad done then I do not know how we can fookin proceed.
Sincerely,
Colin Carver
Singlesideband Systems Ltd.
From: Colin Carver
To: Andy Uba
Date: April 4, 2006
Are you too fucking STUPID to write me a proper email Mr. "Uba"? DON'T fucking order me around like a little kid. If you can't address me in a proper manner then please FUCK OFF and leave me alone. I have IMPORTANT business to be getting on with and I will not put up with having to deal with little children who know nothing about business.
Now, for the THIRD FUCKING TIME, you will NEVER NEVER NEVER NEVER get one single penny out of me unless you send somebody to MY LOCATION to pick it up in cash. If you cannot do that then FUCK OFF. Do NOT send that stupid motherfucker Mr. Smith Luca becasue that moron can't even use a telephone. I would not trust him with my money ever.
Colin Carver
Director
Singlesideband Systems
(Please refer to the scambaiting website www.419eater.com for details if you want to laugh your ass-off.)